It’s a few days after Christmas. Honestly, I spent the day in bed served tea by my darling husband because I was in pain and nauseous. So I kind of hung out between the couch and the bed. I think that was enough exercise for me, considering I haven’t worked out till October, and it is going to be absolutely horrible getting back into running form.
Anyway, Christmas was a little different this year with the pandemic and all, so I didn’t have to buy anyone gifts to show how much I appreciate them being in my life, so I chose to write letters (digital) letters at least because USPS has been BASURA for the past few weeks.
I sat down with my ginger tea, the lion king soundtrack by Matt Bloyd, and tedddyswims. This is my writing ambiance, my vibe. So in simpler terms, I’m in bed drinking tea and thinking about gratitude. I started this blog impulsively at my therapist’s advice because I had written her a wrongly worded email about a session with my neuro dr. * for context’s sake, I was angry. Suprinsgly she was proud of how I could communicate what I was saying but write it down. This is foreign for me because I had never known to be a communicator, and when I finally communicated, I would be in a nonsensical rage.
GRATITUDE is one of the lessons I have picked up on this new journey. It’s something I definitely either have never paid attention to or taken advantage of. When I started writing my letters to friends and family, I flashbacks of the little things these people have been involved in or contributed to this path that I have been on. In no way am I claiming that I have become this enlightened person, but I am learning to be a kinder, grounded, and grateful human. I am doing this for myself first and foremost to establish better relationships with people around me.
So far, gratitude seems to be the easiest on my list because with growth and maturity, acknowledging your mistakes or contributing to a misunderstanding is a lot easier. Saying I am sorry I hurt you and I am grateful for you being in my life regardless of that is powerful. I read an article on gratuity in psychology today that states that more grateful people are inclined to be happier and less likely to be in emotional pain.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/gratitude And sometimes your lack of being able to be grateful can bite you in the ass, and the other person has every right to walk away from that situation.
Just because I am on this path does not excuse me from being accountable for what I have said and done in my past. Every day is a chance to be grateful for something. The breath of life is one that popped up first. Just being grateful to have the gift of life is beautiful. Yes, it may suck if you are chronically ill, heartbroken, or plagued with the traumas of your past. Having people who love you regardless of being at your lowest, broke or jobless, is grateful for. Yes, I know it’s hard to see all these things when you are knee-deep in the worst of moments of your life. I might be reaching here, but please let me know or hear me out. I think there is a correlation between gratuity/gratitude with grace. Gratitude is the “reward” we show to each other as humans. Grace is the unmeasurable gratuity that God shows us.
As much as I want to show gratuity to my friends and family. I also want to practice gratuity to God, who has power and domain over everything we do. He is the one who blesses us when we align ourselves with his word and his teachings. So as I practice to be more gracious in my actions and gratuity to my family and friends. I pray God has his will in leading and guiding me on this path. Because without him and his mercy, we are nothing. I am nothing.
*St Michael defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and sare of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray.